Squishy mud

This morning was just a funny morning. I have been sick with pneumonia and have been pretty much on the couch the last week. Lilja has just been amazing. Also keeping her home a little just incase...walking doggies and watching movies is our schedule for the past week. Waiting for her to start climbing the walls, but so far so good. This morning Lilja walked up to me and gave me this BIIIIIGGGGG hug, truely one of those bear hugs.. and my heart melted.. then she said:" Momma, you're so strange!!! " I guess I am taking that as a complement.

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Lilja is going to a Bear dance

Lilja and Aran are going to the Bear dance today. Jasmin's mom Martha got her this Kuspuk when she was really little and it finally fits, and Jasmin's dad Steve just got her the next sizes up that were Jasmin's old Kuspuks. .. they are so cute!! Fun to have events to wear them at.

Pictures!!!

Lilja had her recital last weekend . Here are some of the pictures of her outfit.. How CUTE is that!!!!

This is lilja's "little " smile

well, we know this one pretty good!!

and another one... really so cute!!

My two loves, so lucky!! 

Lilja and maddie at the river. Lilja loves the cold water and will play in there for hours without a peep.. maddie on the other hand is very sensitive to cold..Still they are best of friends!!

The rock

This is how Lilja's little brain works.. just love her thinking things through..

Loving ice old water!

Before you see this video, note it was 80 degrees, and the water is VERY shallow ;)

Start of recital

So Lilja had her first recital last weekend. This was the youngest class Ms annette worked with for the recital, so we were very proud of our class. I had to drop off Lilja in the gym to a highschooler. I did not think Lilja was going to go with her. Lilja was holding my finger so tightly that my finger was white. But when she saw the other girls she was Ok and we saw them parading into the gym like this.. Look at those big eyes.. And yes I was wiping away tears. The next video of the recityal you can even hear it in my voice. I never knew what a feeling that is to see you child in front of 500 people going.... Tada!!!

The recital !

Scottsdale Arizona, a well deserved vacation...

Aran had a wild life conference in Scottsdale Arizona last week and we were allowed to come with him. After an 8 hour ride in the car, during which Lilja just did amazing... A beautiful hotel, great pool and some real relaxing r&r was awaiting us.  I bought some floaties for Lilja, as she seems not afraid of the water and I wanted to feel a little more at ease with her around water. She picked them out... a ladybug... and LOVED them. What a difference from her in my arms to her floating away kicking her legs as if she was swimming.. Wow how fast it goes!!

smiley girl in the pool... for HOURS!!!

In the hot tub, and Aran's favorite spot.

I love this picture and the next one too!!

Aran's thoughts?? HEAVEN!!

The first night we were invited to an native feast. the Hopi tribe showed us an eagle dance. Now, we have seen many tribal dances, but this one was one of my favorites.. lilja was even quiet ..so very powerful, intense and beautiful.

During the dancing there were drummers and singers too. The feathers were from an eagle and Aran said the way it was made was very anatomically correct in eagle's eyes.

Those big cacus were huge and impressive, called Sagueros

Lilja and I went to a Train park where we could take a ride on a little train...

go on a merry-go-round...

Play in a very cool looking playground of all adobe houses..

and see the toy trains in action.

I did have to be on the merry-go-round with her and we went twice.. The second time she did not want me to hold her.. All by myself, mom!!

and this was heaven on the last day.. a pinot on the table, cheese platter, and a daddy playing with Lilja..
 My pre-mother's day second.. :) It was fun, not to worry about dogs, work or errands.. This truely felt like a vacation.. Thanks honey for taking us with you.

my mom the artist!

My mom painted Lilja this year and gave the painting to Aran's parents plus one of Tae ( Lilja's cousin) the painting is entered into a contest. if you click on the link , you will see Lilja with all her dark hair wearing a blue shirt. Click on her picture and 'like" the painting. My mom will win art supplies if she wins and she is the front runner!!! let's vote!!!

http://www.studiojean.nl/wedstrijd/

Happy Mother's day, mom!!

As I am writing the blog and writing my thoughts down, I have to say happy Mother's day to my mom. I know this blog is about Lilja and our days together, but if it was not for my mom, I would not be here, writing, laughing, and crying thinking about my life. Not sure why today is so emotional, or maybe I do.. but want to send a loving thought all across the ocean to my mom. I am so lucky to have such an amazing mom who was there for all the ups and downs in my life.. and what a life it was and still is. Now being a  mom myself I realize what a hard job she had and sometimes still has. I still call my mom at first thought when I am sick or sad. She knows what to say or do, and even will call me as i am thinking of calling her.. yes, telepathy !! She is the most unselfsih person I know and lives and breaths her daughters and her husband. I should be so lucky to be just a little bit like her. Mom, I love you and can't wait to see you again here, laughing and snuggling with MY daughter.
Love Nicole

Happy Mother's day to me ;)

This morning I woke up to a smiley little girl with lots of snuggles and smiles to give. I realized that this day, Mother's day is the most important day of my year. Not my birthday, anniversary, but this day... Mother's day. I remember the struggle Aran and I went through trying to become parents and feeling the inadequacy of not giving my husband a child. Deciding to adopt took pressure of my shoulders and I could become a wife and partner again and look into the future of our marriage. Then Jasmin came into our lives, she felt we would be great parents to her little girl, Lilja.. and if I can be selfish today, she felt I would be a great mother to her little girl. I remember giving Jasmin a poem on our adoption day and I want to share it with you all, because as I am having tears in my eyes I can not express the gratitude to Jasmin for looking at me and making me a mom!!

To Her Birthmother


You gave her birth

We'll give her life

You gave her todays

We'll give her tomorrows



You gave her race

We'll give her identity

You gave her heritage

We'll give her future



You gave her possibilities

We'll give her potentials

You gave her up

We'll have to let go



You dream of her future

We'll work hard for your dreams to come true

You gave her hope

We will too.



Tom Fisher -

Thank you Jasmin and James for making me a mom on Mother's day!! The best, hardest and  most rewarding job in the whole world!!

just some photos to keep you happy for a week

we will be going to Scottsdale Arizona with Aran for a conference. All expenses paid, beautiful hotel with great pool and warm weather. so no posts till next weekend.. so here are some photos to make you smile for a week!!

silly smile

pretty smile!!

she was cracking me up today!! so silly!

again one of those photos  that she looks so big!! Must be the cool jean jacket ;) 

Practice #2